Just over two years ago I did the hardest thing I’ve ever done – physically that is. It was 5 days giving it rock all with not a great deal in the tank. It was a gruelling slog, emotional at some points and episodes where the body wanted to break down. But geez it was fun!

I completed the Massive Murray paddle – a 404km (now 415km – eek!) down the Murray River, over 5 days. In reality, this is almost non stop paddling for 5 days – 7am to 5/6pm. The Massive Murray is a fairly extreme event, not many recreational kayakers take part.

Why Was it the Hardest Thing I’ve Done?

Firstly, I was the second most novice paddler on the water and slightly undercooked as well. But, in reality, covering 95km first up was tough. I got through the first three legs but I ran out of energy. Every stroke of leg 4 on day one was tough – rather than trying to finish a km or the segment, we were aiming for trees. Energy levels were at an all time low and the body was tired. 27km was the final leg – we were breaking it up into 100m.

That fatigue was no longer just energy, but the DOMS (delayed onset of muscle soreness) hit hard. Imagine the day after your biggest upper body workout, then doing it again and again. The body aches from the minute you wake up to the minute you go to bed. But you have to go through it, you can’t just roll over and miss a day.

Then you have the inevitable injuries – mine was tendonitis in the wrist. I had to change the feather of my paddle as I could no longer bend it. I also tweaked my back trying to get in my kayak at a muddy checkpoint. That plays not only on the body but the mind. ‘I can stop, I’m genuinely injured’ – ‘stop making excuses, just get to the next checkpoint’.

I don’t think I can write about how hard this was without further exploring the mind games. There are times when you think you have hit the km’s in a checkpoint, but there were two more km’s to go and you just want to stop. Or times when the boredom kicks in – or trying to negotiate with yourself when you’ll take your next food break. Or that moment when you think you’re keeping up and the pack moves away from you. It’s in these moments you improve your resilience – but they last for the full five days. Imagine negotiating with yourself for 5 days!

Finally I hit the wall that marathon runners are familiar with. Fully out of energy, yawning for hours, feeling sleepy. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get my energy up – I would paddle five strokes and yawn!

It was a tough five days. But I’m doing it again.

Why Am I doing it again

Doing hard stuff matters. There is a massive sense of achievement and I got a massive buzz from that. It also sets you up for other hard things as well – if you can achieve this, you can achieve anything mentality.

I actually love this feeling – I can’t quite explain it – I almost enjoy the feeling of discomfort. Similar to ice baths, or tough gym sessions. The feeling of being utterly flogged gives me a buzz!

The after exercise high isn’t too bad either. Post exercise endorphins are well known and documented, but I would say that after every day these were at an all time high.

On the water I was lucky to have my mate Stevie there. The banter was elite and I must admit it got me through the first couple of days. But not only Stevie, over the days the connection with other paddlers was great – and the beers at the end of day 5 were great. Connecting with others is clearly what humans were designed to do.

One of the main reasons that I am doing this again is the accountability. This can’t be done without some dedication and some serious training. The year after I completed the Murray I wanted to do the Hawkesbury Classic, but didn’t sign up – and guess what – didn’t train either!

I’ve only just signed up for the Murray, and the mindset is already there. I was very close to not going paddling today – but I got out in the water as I know I need to. If you are struggling for the motivation yourself, set a target or your mind on something!

Another reason (and it’s similar to the above) is that I get an opportunity to support another charity. I always feel a sense of purpose when something I do might be helping someone. This drives you to keep going – and particularly helped in some of the darker moments on the Murray I haven’t quite chosen a charity yet but will get there!

Finally, the reason I am doing it again is it’s a good adventure. The week spent with my parents (and Stevie if he fancies it again!) was and will be great again. The small motels and great restaurants for dinner. The curves and banks of the Murray and the swimming pool dip at the end of a long paddle. Adventures aren’t easy but they’re fun!

Do something hard and see if you enjoy it!